Most consent advice is written for people who have just met. In a long relationship it looks different — less verbal, more habitual — but it does not stop mattering.
Familiarity is not permission
Years together tell you a great deal about what someone usually wants. They tell you nothing about tonight.
Learn their reluctance
Long-term partners rarely say no outright. They go quiet, or still, or agreeable in a flat way. Knowing your partner well means knowing what their hesitation looks like.
Check in without breaking the mood
"Is this good?" is not a legal formality, it is attention, and most people find being paid attention to appealing rather than clinical.
Make no cheap
Everything above depends on refusing being genuinely easy. If it is not, none of the rest works.